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Below are the 25 most recent journal entries.

	2009.01.13  20.32 God Im so lonley... and poor. Welcome to an online chat session at Bank of America. Please hold while we connect you to the next available Bank of America Online Banking Specialist. Your chat may be monitored and recorded for quality purposes. Your current wait time is approximately 1 minutes. You are currently 5 in queue. Thank you for your patience. Thank you for choosing Bank of America. You are now being connected to a Bank of America Online Banking Specialist. Maria: Thank you for being a valued Bank of America customer. My name is Maria. How may I help you with your personal savings and checking accounts today? You: Hi Maria I would like to know If I can deposit checks online. You: And if not, when I would be charged overdraft fees from an emergency purchase. Maria: No, we do not have option to deposit checks online. You: I also would like to know If I could get said overdraft fees pushed back a day or even half a day Maria: Though you can make an online transfer to your account. Maria: I would like to inform you that once the account will have insufficient balance then if there will be any transaction post on the account, then the account will charge with the overdraft fee. Maria: Which will post to the account on the next business day. You: ok so If I were to make another purchase on that account I would get the fee, but not if I just made the initial mistake? Maria: I will check this for you. Maria: In order to provide you the best service, may I have your complete name and the last four digits of the account number in question please? You: Alright are we talking about the last 4 digits on the debit card You: ? Maria: Checking Account. You: wait nevermind its PINLY THE ELDAR XXXXX Maria: Thank you for the information, Ryan. Maria: Please allow me a moment while I access your account information. Maria: Ryan, I see that the account has overdrawn by $XXXXX as of now as there is a transaction in pending on the account in the amount of $XXXXX. Maria: I would like to inform you that the transactions listed in the pending section are authorizations. They may or may not post to your account. You: Wait. are you saying that my account was already negative XXXXXXXX and that the XXXXXX is in addition to that? Maria: If the transaction in the amount of $XXXXXX will post to the account, then there will an overdraft fee charge to the account as this transaction has overdrawn the account. Maria: I see that the account has overdrawn by $XXXXXX which is due to the transaction in the amount of XXXXXXX. You: oh ok thank god You: jeez You: you scared me there Maria: So, the transaction in the amount of XXXXXXX is a part of the overdrawn status of the account. Maria: I apologize for that. You: alright. So I am getting a fee? Maria: Though I was just explaining that to you. Maria: Only if the transaction in the amount of $XXXXXX will post to the account. Maria: So I advise you to deposit the funds in the account as soon as possible. You: well... Im having a little trouble with what you mean here isnt it already posted if the money is taken out? Maria: Also not to make further transactions on the account. You: yea. You: so when does it post? midnight? Maria: Ryan, I would like to inform you that pending transactions include credits and debits that have not yet posted to your account. They may also include holds to your balance. You: yea theres nothing else this is a very specific problem Maria: A transaction made with your check card but without your PIN, may take several business days to post to your account. You: oh alright awsome so in theory if I just deposit the money at like 8 am tommorow to get it above negative no fees will be incured? Maria: Ryan, I can not predict that as the transaction that has overdrawn the account is still in pending. You: alright so there is a chance it could post tonight? Maria: Please wait till the time the transaction will post to the account. You: when is that? Maria: It may post. Maria: I can not predict on that as it depends upon the Overnight Processing. Maria: Ryan, I see that your concern is the fee. Is that correct? You: oh yes You: I have enough to cover the deficit but was unable to get to a regular banking location in time You: The fee may completly tap me out Maria: Alright, so I again request you to wait till the time the transaction will post to the account and if the transaction will post and the account will charge with the fee then you can contact us again and if there will the option to waive it we can do that for you. Maria: Though as of now I can not predict anything. You: Why would the fee be waived? Maria: We can check the option, if the system allows we can do that. Maria: Though I can not guarantee you about it. Maria: I do not want to provide you any incomplete or incorrect information, so please wait till the time the transaction will post to the account. You: So basicly I have to wait till it posts at some time (tonight?) and if I get a fee I can come back here and talk to a representative. Maria: Yes, you got it. Maria: I meant the same thing. You: alirght then. Maria: Sure. Maria: Your satisfaction is most important for me. Maria: Is there anything else that I may assist you with? You: Sure lets talk about you Ive probably been boring you with my problems. Is this thing out of the home or do you do this out of an office? You: Seems like it would be a pretty good home gig Maria: No, we are in the office. Maria: You were not at all boring, Ryan. Maria: It is my job to assist the customers in the best possible manner. You: Ah come on you gotta do banking all day and its at least 7:30 where you are you gotta be sick to death of this by now Maria: Ryan, this is my job and I love it. You: Well it is important to like what you do for a living You: I respect that Maria: Absolutely! Maria: Thank you so much. Maria: The Bank of America Live Chat feature is for business use only. If you need any assistance with your accounts, I will be happy to assist you. You: ah I guess that means get off huh? Maria: If you have any other account related query I will be glad to assist you. You: Nah not really. Just chatin Maria: Alright. Ryan, though communication of a personal nature is not permitted. Maria: I hope you can understand that. You: Surely can You: Your probably being monitored and all Maria: Thank you. Maria: You are so understanding, Ryan. Maria: I appreciate that. You: Haha well see you then. Last text message receivedMaria: Sure.

	2009.01.13  00.37 Bedtime of the gods ASa8657416: yo UberEz8: YEAH ASa8657416: YEAH FUCK YEA UberEz8: You caught me on the way out to bed land :[ UberEz8: but I shall return one day, from the bed land, truimpant and rested UberEz8: Ready to eat breakfast cereals and the souls of men UberEz8: Untill then brother, I shall see you on the astral plane ASa8657416: Go forth and slumber UberEz8: FOR YES UberEz8 signed off at 12:29 A.M.

	2009.01.07  22.25 Liquid smooth ASa8657416: The Turk DF WhiteShadow: Eyes DF WhiteShadow: what do you have to report ASa8657416: Status Repore ASa8657416: Initial estimates for the cost of operation plug it and chug it are disheartening DF WhiteShadow: well with the economy DF WhiteShadow: what did you expect ASa8657416: Actually due to the slumping economy the price of industrial grade plastics (the kinds used in roofing/sex devices) is at an all time low. ASa8657416: The issue is constructing a dildonic lathe on the manmoth scale we would need. ASa8657416: and finding a dildonic lathe technician crazy enough to operate the thing ASa8657416: but the real issue is ASa8657416: transport ASa8657416: now the only realistc option is air drop, were not sneaking a buttplug of that size into dallas. DF WhiteShadow: hmm DF WhiteShadow: airdrop DF WhiteShadow: that sounds expensive ASa8657416: we also cant rely on a team of individuals transporting peices and then assembling them on sight. ASa8657416: it is DF WhiteShadow: that sounds more do-able DF WhiteShadow: we're going to need a massive amount of silicon based lubricant ASa8657416: too many weak links in the chain, at minimum we would need over 860 agents transporting an overloaded 18 wheeler covered in a 3 ton peice of solid latex DF WhiteShadow: im talking hundreds of gallons ASa8657416: No ASa8657416: We do dallas raw ASa8657416: raw and bloody ASa8657416: with a little bit of poo DF WhiteShadow: raw you say DF WhiteShadow: gravity alone won't provide the force insert such a mammoth anal plug ASa8657416: now for an air drop we need at least 63 chinook helicopters working in perfect unison ASa8657416: Thats why I like you turk, always 3 steps ahead ASa8657416: That leaves us with only one option ASa8657416: Orbital drop DF WhiteShadow: hmm that could work ASa8657416: if we can get it into space we can sacrifice 1.5 square miles of latex for the aphixment of thrusters that will position it. DF WhiteShadow: if the plug reaches terminal velocity before penetration, the momentum alone should provide enough force to plug up this shit hole forever DF WhiteShadow: if not ASa8657416: my god help us all DF WhiteShadow: i know where we can get a crane with a wrecking ball and an operator with an attitude ASa8657416: as it enters the atmosphere it will heat up to the point where it should slide, liquid smooth, through almost any surface. ASa8657416: well I mean you destroy things for a living you gotta think anyone going into that is going to have an attitude to begin with.

	2008.12.28  01.39 OTHER PART ASa8657416: welcome to immortality ASa8657416: http://sawyer9000.livejournal.com/ ASa8657416: oh wait Ive put you in here before ASa8657416: weird UberEz8: I move like the night, my friend ASa8657416: But the night does not move, it is merley revealed by the absense of day. ASa8657416: man check that sentance out UberEz8: but the night also COVERS ALL ASa8657416: The night is merley a reveal of the TRUE UNIVERSE UberEz8: I AM THE UNIVERSE UberEz8: AND I AM NOTHING UberEz8: I AM BATMAN ASa8657416: THE DARK NIGHT UberEz8: THE BLACK DICK ASa8657416: STROBING IN AND OUT OF THAT HORE I CALL.... ASa8657416: lady liberty UberEz8: she doesn't spit, she swallows JUSTICE' ASa8657416: Theres your noir comic right there. ASa8657416: did you ever finish that? UberEz8: Nooooooooooooooooooooo UberEz8: I wish I had but that's right when BYOB was drying up ASa8657416: I havent even been there in like 7 months UberEz8: both me and gray became very disenchanted ASa8657416: you should start a new one ASa8657416: a PORNO noir UberEz8: Haha that'd actually be a sweet ass idea (litereally) ASa8657416: He came to my place... He came in my face... this... damn city UberEz8: What would the title be? UberEz8: Ass and gritty? ASa8657416: The maltise fal-cock UberEz8: Good, liking it UberEz8: Assablanca is already taken :[ ASa8657416: "Damn. Latex! Nothing but worthless latex underneath!" ASa8657416: "I watched her. I watched her for hours. I watched her like a man watches a woman who he knows he would never have a chumps chance in hell with yet he just keeps lookin', like a stray dog behind a resturant waitn' for scraps that old chinamans never gonna throw out the door." ASa8657416: and then I jerked off UberEz8: haha the last line completes it all ASa8657416: Yee Haw I just made myself a drink of my own devising ASa8657416: Its called a 10 and 4. its a 7 and 7 with less 7 up and more whisky UberEz8: haha you clever bastard UberEz8: but is it segram's 7 still? ASa8657416: no its candaian mark ASa8657416: canadian UberEz8: Well then that would make more sense I guess, not being an actual 7 and 7 UberEz8: My favorite whiskey is bourbon, more specifically Maker's mark ASa8657416: is it makers mark? ASa8657416: that would make more sense UberEz8: Yeah UberEz8: It is actually spelled with an apostrophe though UberEz8: because I have a bottle right behind me ASa8657416: I have never used an apostriphe by choice UberEz8: Well son UberEz8: Maybe it's time ASa8657416: I can work around it UberEz8: true ASa8657416: I just usually write both words instead of compounding them like a lazy ass ASa8657416: It is just something we invented to confuse foriegners anyway. ASa8657416: Detective.... ASa8657416: Hairy ASa8657416: Shaftscock... ASa8657416: is investigating a murder ASa8657416: down at the old abandoned... ASa8657416: porno factory ASa8657416: theres are begining UberEz8: Things are going to get rough and lengthy ASa8657416: Hairy Shaftscock is.... UberEz8: knee deep ASa8657416: IN TOO DEEP UberEz8: Haha as long as deep is in there ASa8657416: what UberEz8: DEEP HARD DICKINGS ASa8657416: no ASa8657416: Police cheif hard dickins ASa8657416: Hard Dickens UberEz8: Hahaha ASa8657416: IT WASNT ME IT WAS THE ONE BALLED MAN UberEz8: Backdoor re-entry was the only way in ASa8657416: DAMNIT SHAFTSCOCK I WANT YOUR BADGE ASa8657416: and.... you. ASa8657416: (Passionate kiss) UberEz8: leads to passionate bonings ASa8657416: cheif has one of those offices where the walls are all windows and everyone can see them and its realy akward for everyone in the office UberEz8: Awkward, or intensely sexy? ASa8657416: SHELA MENSTRONA IS... ASa8657416: THE LADY IN RED UberEz8: Hahaha that's more digusting than porn, but I like it ASa8657416: oh my god Ive got it ASa8657416: The title is... ASa8657416: The Wench Connection UberEz8: haha nice ASa8657416: Theres an awsome car chase where everybody is getting road head UberEz8: slowest, most awkward car chase ever ASa8657416: it goes on for 20 minutes at 15 miles an hour until the badguy "slams" into a parked car. UberEz8: It's really a test of endurance and concentration more than a car chase UberEz8: brb UberEz8 is away at 12:03 A.M. ASa8657416: Its just as suspensefull. but for all the wrong reasons UberEz8 returned at 12:20 A.M. ASa8657416: How was your lords day? UberEz8: Splendid UberEz8: How's about yours? ASa8657416: It was a standard realitive gift christmas. 2 sweaters, a watch, a rubix cube and a godzilla action figure ( Hollywood Version) UberEz8: Godzillas always welcomed UberEz8: I just got some giftcards, some cool shirts including a cure shirt and candy ASa8657416: You listen to the cult? ASa8657416: theyre like if the cure sacked up and went out bustin skulls ASa8657416: excuse me ASa8657416: bustin' UberEz8: Yeah, you mean blue oyster cult? ASa8657416: no ASa8657416: The Cult ASa8657416: hold on ASa8657416: http://www.imeem.com/jukeboxmusic33/music/ogMH5Hnu/the_cult_rain/ UberEz8: Haha they actually do remind me of boc a bit too ASa8657416: So my brother got an Iphone. UberEz8: Mine too ASa8657416: and Ive discovered a large flaw in the design UberEz8: you can't use your cock to push buttons? ASa8657416: as you know its basicly a computer in phone form ASa8657416: so what happens when the computer freezes and theres no keyboard/mouse or even an off button? ASa8657416: http://www.imeem.com/jukeboxmusic33/music/BVmpv50O/the_cult_she_sells_sanctuary/ ASa8657416: probably there most famous song UberEz8 signed off at 1:23 A.M.

	2008.12.27  22.38 2 fer ASa8657416: Yo GuySpenzz: Hey GuySpenzz: Whats up? ASa8657416: Was watching red dawn. Now Im finaly going to finish a script Ive ignored for 4 months ASa8657416: In both cases I blame the commies ASa8657416: fucking commies ASa8657416: now that Im not smoking Ive got all this fucking energy and nothing to use it on. ASa8657416: blaaagh! ASa8657416: Its awful ASa8657416: what about you GuySpenzz: Haha. I was just trying figure out a rubik's cube ASa8657416: I got one of those for christmas as well ASa8657416: I just decided to never mess with it GuySpenzz: Mind boggling ASa8657416: just remember that the corners never actualy move GuySpenzz: Hmm ASa8657416: gave Ryan Dean a call today. ASa8657416: hes working at a cracker barrel in georgia GuySpenzz: So you stopped smoking? ASa8657416: when Im at home I cant risk it. GuySpenzz: Very understandable GuySpenzz: How is Ryan? Crackerbarrel is not a bad place, at least the food is good. ASa8657416: Didnt get to talk to him. Chatted with his parents for awhile. His mom is seriously worried that he is becoming a complacent country chump GuySpenzz: So, hes not going to school? ASa8657416: nope. Moved to some town called athens for awhile and went to cc but he dropped out. Up to this point hes been working at some grocery store for the last 2 years. GuySpenzz: Hmm. What was he studying in college? ASa8657416: psh.... nothing probably. GuySpenzz: Damn. Well, I hope he is at least happy ASa8657416: I hope he moves out of the shithole that is georgia. GuySpenzz: Yeah. What has georgia ever done for humanity ASa8657416: slavery ASa8657416: Jimmy Carter ASa8657416: Diseases that you normaly find in the rain forest ASa8657416: TBS GuySpenzz: I had a board game growing up that was about american trading and it said they made and traded bacon. ASa8657416: well yea we all remember the hogzilla incident GuySpenzz: It also said there were 51 states and puerto rico was the 51st GuySpenzz: Hogzilla was the shit ASa8657416: turns out that kid just went 10 feet back and posed like he was leaning on it. ASa8657416: also the hog was a pet and that guy got realy pissed. ASa8657416: puerto rico will never be a state GuySpenzz: Fucking kids. GuySpenzz: Puerto rico doesnt want to be a state ASa8657416: right? what a little redneck shit ASa8657416: I thought they did GuySpenzz: No. They just want to vote in our elections ASa8657416: hell no. ASa8657416: they dont even pay taxes ASa8657416: Im thinking of taking the black church in america ASa8657416: as a class GuySpenzz: Whoa, thats a class? GuySpenzz: Awesome ASa8657416: hell yea. ASa8657416: African American studies GuySpenzz: Nice GuySpenzz: Hey man, i gotta go ASa8657416: Get my whitey opinion in there GuySpenzz: Haha ASa8657416: see you on the flip side GuySpenzz: Later UberEz8: in the butt ASa8657416: I thought about typing it ASa8657416: but then I decided it woulfd be tacky UberEz8: Well I've got tacky done perfect UberEz8: How's it going? ASa8657416: well. I started writing this script during the summer you see. UberEz8: haha interesting ASa8657416: and I got about 41 pages done. ASa8657416: almost finished UberEz8: Damn son, what's it about? ASa8657416: Its a teledrama adaptation of heinlines first story lifeline. ASa8657416: Im doing it for this crazy rich guy ASa8657416: and then in august I just stopped for NO REASON UberEz8: How do you know this crazy rich guy? ASa8657416: and I picked it up again only tonight. I dont realy hes my friends boss. ASa8657416: and I am just procrastinating the hell out of it. UberEz8: I'm somewhat familiar with life-line UberEz8: It's the one with the death prediciting machine I never read :[ ASa8657416: Its very 30's. I just decided to adapt it word for word because damn are the words charlitan and flubdubery awsome UberEz8: hows about balderdash? UberEz8: Any balderdashing? ASa8657416: hold on Ill check ASa8657416: no UberEz8: :[ ASa8657416: BUT THERE IS NOW UberEz8: :] ASa8657416: HA! ASa8657416: I forgot my forums password but I just guessed it at random ASa8657416: you play this fallout 3 bullspit? UberEz8: I want too UberEz8: I was a big fan of the first two when I was young ASa8657416: oh god its so good ASa8657416: its everything you wanted it to be ASa8657416: and more UberEz8: Jet pack sex? ASa8657416: ... well. ASa8657416: thats something Ive never thought of ASa8657416: but now that I am UberEz8: Yeah it's pretty tight ASa8657416: aww all they have on google is jet pack, sex UberEz8: fuckers UberEz8: concidently when you have jet pack sex you only have goggles on ASa8657416: how else would it possibly work UberEz8: Where there's a will, there's an erection and 40 gallons of jet fuel strapped to a women's chest UberEz8: Just like grandma always said ASa8657416: oh man. Thats going in the life log.

	2008.05.19  23.16 On a very special episode... ASa8657416: Hey jerk. Its been a year and a half. Are you still mad at me for asking to borrow your jumper cables? GloriousPeanut is away at 10:14 P.M. GloriousPeanut returned at 10:16 P.M. GloriousPeanut: No GloriousPeanut: That was not the reason ASa8657416: Well duh GloriousPeanut: It was because you were all talk and no walk. You had so many great ideas I was so excited about but they never came to fruition. ASa8657416: What like dantes inferno? GloriousPeanut: Yeah! Like all the great ideas you have all the time that are freakin' hilarious, then they're either forgotten or they die in some stupid joke. GloriousPeanut: I am tired of talking about stuff. Now I do it. ASa8657416: Well I guess after I broke my leg doing that stupid shit it put me in a real funk but you still ended our friendship on this fairly flimsy basis and It realy bugs me. Alot. What have you done? ASa8657416: Stuff wise not retoricly. GloriousPeanut: Moved into my own house. I now get semi-regular work making guitar circuits for people. GloriousPeanut: I write and practice music to the detriment of many things, but it's what I love to do. ASa8657416: Still rocking the astronaut dream? GloriousPeanut: Not so sure anymore. Failed out of engineering this semester. I just lost my enthusiasm for it. GloriousPeanut: But something I do know is that I now have a room to myself, a small studio where I can play guitar as loud as I want, and a workshop where I can build anything I can dream. I've discovered that these are the most important things for me to have. GloriousPeanut: It's not that I hate you or some bullshit like that -- you were just bringing me down. I don't like drugs and the whole stoner scene, which you were very much into the last time I saw you. ASa8657416: Well then. Im starting my film/TV production classes next semester and have been writing and drawing a buch of crap since freshman year as well as working for the campus TV station (which actually has shows and people and shit now), and seeing as we bearly talked between then and "that phone call" I just cant see how you decided I wasn't a do-er to such a severe degree as to end our friendship. Well I do like to smoke pot but the last thing Im into is "that whole stoner scene". ASa8657416: In fact I find it fairley irritating ASa8657416: Did Ryan Dean bring you down too because his face was basicly attached to a bong the entirtey of high school. ATTENTION: An AOL Talk Session has been requested. GloriousPeanut: Damn, I never knew that. Didn't see him much though. ASa8657416: Yea he kept pretty well hidden you wouldnt know unless he wanted you to. GloriousPeanut: I believe people are entitled to do what they want, as long as they don't drag me into it. Part of it is my own fault, but after a while doing stuff with you stopped being fun and started feeling like you were using me. But I still haven't figured out how to say "no, I'd rather not" so I went with "No, fuck off forever." ASa8657416: Well the whole using people thing is why I stopped doing stuff like dantes infeno in the first place. I realized I was asking ALOT of people for my own selfish reasons and that most were not as on board with my ideas as I thought they were. ASa8657416: If your refering to college I have no idea we barley did anything together freshman year and you were a ghost first semester of year 2 GloriousPeanut: Fuck man, that's big of you to say. And I had a lot of growing up to do, that's why I wasn't around. ASa8657416: I guess it realy hit me when tommy bell politely told me that he never wanted to do this shit in the first place and only got involved because I asked If I could shoot at his house, which sent me into a spiral of inactivity because all I had been doing for a year was this stupid movie and I was like "well fuck what now?" Ironicly I think my main barrier now to doing more things is not being able to find any other do-ers to work with. Aarons pretty useless and everyone else I seem to know are worthless junk ASa8657416: ies GloriousPeanut: Well damn, and here I thought you were a worthless junkie yourself. I must admit I have not given you the credit you deserved, Ryan. Tell you what: message me later with what Channel 6 stuff you've got going on, I might want to participate. ASa8657416: Well thats fair I usually give off that kind of aura when living at college. The only thing that I think you would want to do is gameshow host but I gotta tell you programming has realy been in the shitter with this new executive administration we have. ASa8657416: Im not allowed to touch a damn thing. Its been pissing me off somthing fierce. That and they lost my entire show. all of it. assholes. GloriousPeanut: Why? They cutting budget or just fascist? ASa8657416: Resume builders. There more interested in creating a good mission statment and writing rules that dont matter then getting down to the buissness of good televison. Theyve essentialy regulated themselves into a corner. You cant check out equipment unless one of 3 people who are way too busy to help you goes with you wherever you go. ASa8657416: let me show you what Ive realy been working on though hold on. GloriousPeanut: Alright but only a quick one, I've got to get up for work tomorrow at 5:30 ASa8657416: damn its not in the obvious place. Ill show you tommorow. GloriousPeanut: k ASa8657416: Hey good talking to you finaly GloriousPeanut: You too man, we'll do more of it in the future ASa8657416: Time is an illusion. Were already doing more of it RIGHT NOW. GloriousPeanut: Fuck that, I've already wired up the flux capacitor. I'm going back to the eighties, when Reaganomics made everyone happy all the time and the music didn't suck so much. ASa8657416: They did do a BTTF spoof commercial for the library with a real live delorian. ASa8657416: That was neat. Well see you later. GloriousPeanut: Talk to you tomorrow, man ASa8657416: Shit we just had a very special episode moment luke. GloriousPeanut: God dammit no talking when the credits are rolling!!! ASa8657416: alright well log off before I ruin it more then. GloriousPeanut: Hey, I'm romancing a vagina. It requires concentration and a bit of time & effort ASa8657416: damn thats some multitasking son

	2008.05.19  03.20 wesfh ASa8657416: yo UberEz8: HEY ASa8657416: YES? UberEz8: NO! ASa8657416: what? UberEz8: Well you see, I don't know how to say this.... but ASa8657416: are you breaking up with me? UberEz8: I got robo aids UberEz8: and you might have them now too ASa8657416: oh god no UberEz8: Well you see, robo aids is at least a lot trendier now a days than regular aids UberEz8: so at least we're hip ASa8657416: Well thank god for that. Id hate to be a tacky terminal UberEz8: Pretty much ASa8657416: Well Ive run out of things to be angry about. ASa8657416: Whats interesting in your life? UberEz8: I went to an ANIME convention this weekend with some friends UberEz8: ANIIIIME ASa8657416: grrooossss. What was the worst thing you saw? UberEz8: Fat people ASa8657416: well ok but thats a whole catagory. What was the worst singular thing you saw? UberEz8: Hmmm UberEz8: Gotta think haaaaaard UberEz8: Oh some fat kids were dressed as juggalos UberEz8: That made me sad UberEz8: Also a whole lot of really fat people cosplaying as skimpy characters from animes UberEz8: So much I can't even name them all off UberEz8: and it killed my soul a little UberEz8: but it was still fun, it's tradition that each year we go to this convention UberEz8: Me and my friends have been doing it since highschool UberEz8: I don't even really care for anime too much outside of one piece and maybe a few others ASa8657416: Man they tried to have a furrie convention in houston. We just kept throwing bricks until the city council banned it. UberEz8: I would totally go to a furry convention for the pictures and horror alone ASa8657416: I would not. Though due to my bigotry I avoided A con (The A stood for arcade) and I still regret that to this day. UberEz8: I like going to places were large groups of weird people are UberEz8: It adds flavor to life ASa8657416: Alright let me pose a hypothetical to you ASa8657416: You see a thread that says My ex-girlfriend is a hooker- Now what? UberEz8: click that shit ASa8657416: Do you tell him to let it go peacibly (she STARTED HOOKING while dating him) or do you encourage him in his devious plans? UberEz8: Let it go, sadly as jaded as I should be by the internet by now, I always feel like if someone is asking, I should give an honest and good answer ASa8657416: NO NO NO DAMNIT NO. UberEz8: but there is still a voice in the back of my head that wants to do the second ASa8657416: What the hell is wrong with the internet these days jesus THIS IS NOT ABOUT BEING NICE ASa8657416: Damn now Im angry again UberEz8: Maybe you should drink! UberEz8: That's the best thing to do when angry ASa8657416: Nothing is worth reading anymore damnit its all being ruined by people. ASa8657416: I WILL NOT BUY A BOOK I AM AN AMERICAN DAMNIT UberEz8: Books should come to us, isn't this the future? ASa8657416: Im worried that this is going to spill out into real life. UberEz8: It probably already has ASa8657416: Im worried that one day Ill be walking down the street smoking a cigarette and Ill be mobbed by a group of people saying "hey that isnt very nice" and Ill just scream and start punching until they have to put me down. UberEz8: Wouldn't that be ironic though, when they comment on you not being very nice but eventually the must kill you? UberEz8: Maybe it's just one large Dada movement ASa8657416: People as a whole arnt that clever ASa8657416: In fact Id say the bigger the group the dumber the average intellegence ASa8657416: oh my god. ASa8657416: I just figured it out. ASa8657416: hold on UberEz8: TELL ME ASa8657416: Im going to draw a graph UberEz8: Oh man ASa8657416: almost done UberEz8: I just coined "what a fart captain" btw with another friend ASa8657416: If its slapping together 2 old catchphrases can you coin it? UberEz8: I feel that sentence has charm, wit and heart that will lead it to capturing the hearts of millions of americans everywhere ASa8657416: ok ATTENTION: File Transfer canceled or rejected. UberEz8: IS it ready? ASa8657416: http://i31.tinypic.com/2r7t4xz.png ASa8657416: Alright so basicly I whipped up a little equation. UberEz8: This could lead to war on SA UberEz8: Of epic and internetting porportions ASa8657416: Wussiness (W) is directly related to Population (P) and Time (T) (being that as time goes on pop goes up and is included to give a rough timeline of the events, so its not realy related to the chart). As P increases we see an exponetial explosion of W (SA gained Massive popularity in the 06-07 season) and if you review thread trends from times before this you can easily see a general meanspiritedness and demand to be entertained that is virtualy non existant in todays enviorment. UberEz8: Well I am an 05 UberEz8: So I am impervious to anything due to dates UberEz8: fo'sho ASa8657416: Use BYOB as an example, considering that the oppisite effect occured. As the forum lost popularity it became meaner. Trends also move 10 times faster there so in essense BYOB is an "old " forum set on overdrive. You yourself saw what Im talking about over the course of 2+ years of existance UberEz8: Yes UberEz8: I just post in creative convention now though so I can make sure I am keeping up on art ASa8657416: Therefore the equation W^p. I expect by 2010 we will hit what I call the Wussiness Event Horizon. And if that happens... UberEz8: BABIES EVERYWHERE ASa8657416: *takes off glasses* Checkmate. ASa8657416: Are you following me here? UberEz8: I love checkers ASa8657416: HOW DO WE STOP THE TREND ASa8657416: We are only 2 people. One if your just a very complicated chat bot UberEz8: Well... UberEz8: I hate to tell you this UberEz8: but UberEz8: if you want to see more sexy pics of me and my web cam just go to http://iamasexyaimbotallalong.com ASa8657416: NOOOooooo cherry124 I LOOoooOOved you UberEz8: *Beep boop boop* UberEz8: Hey wanna see a really cool music video? ASa8657416: yes UberEz8: http://youtube.com/watch?v=XGjO9d211VQ ASa8657416: http://youtube.com/watch?v=uuGaqLT-gO4 UberEz8: I've seen this guys work before, it's AMAZING ASa8657416: That was cool UberEz8 signed off at 3:18 A.M.

	2008.05.13  19.38 havent done it in a while ASa8657416: ruuuuuun ASa8657416: its comming ASa8657416: ITS COMING UberEz8: OH GOD UberEz8: I AM RUNNING AS SLOW AS I CAN! UberEz8: ... UberEz8: ... UberEz8: ... UberEz8: WALKING ASa8657416: aaaahhhhhgg. ASa8657416: its got me. ASa8657416: its got me. ASa8657416: ahhh. UberEz8: You will be remembered UberEz8: For your bravery UberEz8: and large collection of pornography involving inter racial couples and fine american collectiable memoribilla ASa8657416: and my various crimes and atrocites. That touched so many UberEz8: The hearts and lives they affected ASa8657416: and so on UberEz8: and so forth ASa8657416: hey. ASa8657416: I know this guy ASa8657416: This guy right here ASa8657416: I know him blacksailsbleed: hey blacksailsbleed: what's up dude ASa8657416: just riding that thin line between order and chaos, making my way through a world that doesnt want me here one bullet at a time. blacksailsbleed: i hear ya. blacksailsbleed: lol. blacksailsbleed: i moved to austin. blacksailsbleed: The Houston suburbs where killing my soul. ASa8657416: how was The York? blacksailsbleed: the york? like new york? i haven't been in like two years. ASa8657416: I thought you moved there for awhile or something blacksailsbleed: nope ASa8657416: So austin huh? Ive been making alot of trips up there in the last semester. ASa8657416: Ive decided I dont realy like it all that much blacksailsbleed: lots of hipsters blacksailsbleed: gotta watch out for them. lol. ASa8657416: Well the hipsters I can stand. Its the attitude or should I say badittude. ASa8657416: of the town blacksailsbleed: really? everyone is so nice to me... ASa8657416: I guess I was expecting it to be a little more.... more. The entirety of austin can fit within the hip part of houston and honestly after spending alot of time in both I cant see any dicernable diffrence ASa8657416: So I wonder why the baditude? blacksailsbleed: well you live in downtown houston. so i'm sure they are similar. i moved here straight from clear lake. so it feels really good to me. ASa8657416: alright well I can see that blacksailsbleed: jeez blacksailsbleed: i hate downloading music nowadays blacksailsbleed: takes forever. ASa8657416: do you torrent or PtP? blacksailsbleed: torrent ASa8657416: wait. ASa8657416: wait. blacksailsbleed: i thought it was all the same ASa8657416: imeem.com ASa8657416: never bother with downloading again blacksailsbleed: woah. thanks man blacksailsbleed: wait so can i download things? or just for listening? ASa8657416: I think listening. But its any song you want no waiting ASa8657416: also check out pandora.com blacksailsbleed: dude. that scarlett johansson album sucks... ASa8657416: scarlett johansson made an album? Why? ASa8657416: you know what actor went on to make some pretty good music? Uhura from star trek blacksailsbleed: really? blacksailsbleed: need to check it out ASa8657416: yea. also lenord nimoy blacksailsbleed: bullshit. what kind of music? ASa8657416: He made a song about bilbo baggins ASa8657416: from the hobbit blacksailsbleed: ok.... blacksailsbleed: http://www.amazon.com/Habitrail-Ovo-Suite/dp/B000UODW6U/ref=pd_bxgy_k_text_b blacksailsbleed: i want that. for my hamster. ASa8657416: http://youtube.com/watch?v=XC73PHdQX04 ASa8657416: I want that. For me. ASa8657416: Life sized so I can live in it. ASa8657416: and the little ball in front detaches into a car blacksailsbleed: hobbits unite? ASa8657416: Nimoys a weird duck blacksailsbleed: very. ASa8657416: I just saw him the other month at MFAH blacksailsbleed: well he is a fellow jew blacksailsbleed: was he showing off his photography? ASa8657416: He was discussing his new photography book. ASa8657416: Female nudes of famous photos ASa8657416: exactly like the old ones with one exception ASa8657416: they were alll 400+ pounds blacksailsbleed: sick blacksailsbleed: he looks like a chubby chaser. ASa8657416: oh he likes the roast beef

	2008.01.09  02.41 ASa8657416: so this guy was like "nice man taytays" ASa8657416: and I was all like "nice DEAD MOTHER" UberEz8: OWNED ASa8657416: and he was all like "whua whua?" UberEz8: How's it going? ASa8657416: and I was all like "Hey did you ever stop to think that mabye my manmaries are a little more sensitve subject than your fucking wormfood mom" ASa8657416: and then things got quiet ASa8657416: and then I was all like "so how was the funeral?" ASa8657416: and he was all like "moving" ASa8657416: and I was all like "UNLIKE YOUR MOTHER" ASa8657416: and then we got in a fight ASa8657416: good I guess UberEz8: Well if that happened UberEz8: IT SHOULD BE GREAT ASa8657416: yea but it didnt UberEz8: Heh UberEz8: Do you still post in byob? ASa8657416: Sometimes who cares ASa8657416: I mean realy who cares. at all. ASa8657416: Its the least important thing on the internet UberEz8: Yeah, I agree ASa8657416: which is hard to do UberEz8: I have kind of stopped posting recently and working on art more ASa8657416: because the internet is a uselessness pissing contest UberEz8: and now I am thinking, "man, I sure did waste a lot of time on nothing" UberEz8: and I am kind of bummed about that ASa8657416: yeop UberEz8: but hey, I don't want to sound like a jerk, I had some good times when Byob was still byob ASa8657416: at least you didnt work on the zyborne clock UberEz8: Hehe UberEz8: I drew a mecha johnny I was really proud of and people seemed to like UberEz8: for that awesome ycs thread ASa8657416: yea that was pretty wicked. ASa8657416: man now you got me thinking about wasted hours ASa8657416: fuck ASa8657416: fuuckk UberEz8: Hey, that's what I do, I make people regret UberEz8: I AM SHOOTING MY REGRET BEAMS ALL OVER THE PLACE ASa8657416: pew pew UberEz8: because that's JUST how I ROLL ASa8657416: YOU ARE A UNIQUE AND BEUTIFUL FLOWER WITH INTERESTING AND NEW IDEAS UberEz8: I AM SO AMAZING WHY CAN'T EVERYONE SEE I AM ABOVE THEM? UberEz8: My caps should make it plainly clear ASa8657416: WHY CANT THEY SEE YOUR GENIUS UberEz8: I blame the homosexuals ASa8657416: I blame the faggots UberEz8: I bet they like do have sex with each others penises and destroy families, I hear that's what they do UberEz8: VILE CREATURES ASa8657416: Do you ever think about things from your past and shiver at how inapropriate and stupid they are, and does it cripple you in the present because deep down you know you havent changed and in all likelyhood it will happen again UberEz8: Ruining my FAITHLAND ASa8657416: ? UberEz8: I can't say that I do UberEz8: but I've changed a lot from the past UberEz8: which is definitely a good thing UberEz8: I use to be one of those ANIMU's people ASa8657416: ew UberEz8: and also quite immature in a lot of ways UberEz8: I am still a bit immature but I am going to school, working torwards my dream of being a successful enough artist to make a living UberEz8: and I feel like I am getting over my laziness and apathy more and more each year UberEz8: but it's best not to reflect on such things and just continue on working torwards a goal UberEz8: Setting your mind in the future instead of the past I guess UberEz8: Also dicks ASa8657416: your pretty good. you see I used to be productive until I slipped into a laziness/apathy hole that has no bottom. UberEz8: Well don't say such things to damn your self I guess UberEz8: GET THE LED OUT MY FRIEND ASa8657416: and of course be succesevly more lazy just feeds my self loathing UberEz8: but seriously, don't reflect too much and concentrate on personal problems UberEz8: It's good to also be introspective but make sure you do it in a constructive way UberEz8: I have so many regrets in my life as well but they all work torwards making me have fewer in the future UberEz8: I'd like to say ASa8657416: well you got a good head on your shoulders Ez8

	2007.11.24  03.09 so FUCK you I win Weird Linza: *snort* Weird Linza: HAH! Weird Linza: I want to DJ at a gay disco. Just once. To say I have. ASa8657416: "Before I lay down this remix of What is Love by Bear Force One Id just like to say that you people disgust me, but you are funny to look at, so I tolerate this for the sake of comedy." *WikkaWikka* VAT ES LOVE... ASa8657416: but seriously ASa8657416: whats up Weird Linza: BABY DON'T HURT ME... DON'T HURT ME, NO MORE (Linza gets up and takes photos to sell to 'Something Awful) Weird Linza: Not a lot. Working and stuff. Weird Linza: Borrowed my dad's geo prism to get around, because I got sick of dealing with the bums downtown. ASa8657416: the key is to avoid eye contact. the second you lock gazes the illusion that you didnt see him is over and he becomes inescapable. Like a change seeking missle ASa8657416: that smells like pee Weird Linza: *cackle* Weird Linza: *an hour later* ASa8657416: Bwahahaha Weird Linza: I suppose that's true. But they'll follow you even if you pretend not to see them. ASa8657416: some villian you are. I already set off the fucker 20 minutes ago Weird Linza: ? ASa8657416: The doomsday lazzer geez you are out of the loop. Have you even seen those memos corprate keeps shooting down the pipes? Weird Linza: I'm from the rival company, genius. Weird Linza: I don't get your emails. I get emails about when we're about to do something cooler than you / bad to the federal government Weird Linza: and/or blow up a third-world country, which is what we're working on right now. Weird Linza: So, don't hit Burma before I do. ASa8657416: So you got that one where we merged into Nastiness conglomerate Weird Linza: We never merged. Weird Linza: Shinra doesn't merge, motherfucker. We buy you out. Weird Linza: ;-) ASa8657416: *Wheels back from his desk, irrtatedly groans as he rises, pops his back, adjusts nametag, pops knuckles* Allllllright *long sigh* what is this all about. I got that prick steve from HR up there and hes telling me to go get that new damn stationary they fucking love so much and its got that new logoYOU KNOW WHAT hold on Im getting my supervisor Weird Linza: I tased Steve this morning. He was pissing me off. Weird Linza: You're right. He is a prick. ASa8657416: whos that guy? Weird Linza: The prick from HR. Weird Linza: I have no idea what HR stands for in your organization, but I tazed him anyway. ASa8657416: Probably a good call he was a prick Weird Linza: He was wearing far too much Old Spice. Weird Linza: Anyway, I'm going to go suck the lifeblood of the planet out through a giant pump and burn it to cook my baby-seel burger, then go to sleep on my bed made of the feathers of slaughtered endangered eagles. Weird Linza: I'll catch you later, yo. ASa8657416: wait I never got your name Weird Linza: You can call me The Lord Your God. Weird Linza: Or, you will be able to, until I crash a giant rock into your planet and you perish with the rest of your wormy human companions. Weird Linza: ;-) ASa8657416: Ill call you 8 minutes late on the time card this morning IM DOCKING THIS SHIT ASa8657416: EY. ASa8657416: >:O ASa8657416: EEEEY. Weird Linza: You find a way to dock my pay, and I'll stick a shiny sword through your chest. Deal? ASa8657416: whatever honey. Ive got a gun WWWWoooowwoWHHWOscary stuff Weird Linza: *sticks you through the chest with the big shiny sword* Weird Linza: *tazes you for good measure as I walk away* Weird Linza: (goodnight!) Weird Linza signed off at 3:02 A.M. UhUh son not that way OHYEA *slow mo begins as 'burning down the house' starts playing. A broken and bleeding security guard stands up slowly, clutching his injury. You can see the seething hatred in his eyes. with the first line of the song his whole body snaps and he goes "WATCH OUT" (a DUN DUN is heard from a reinforcment gaurd that came straght from keyboard practice.) YOU MIGHT GET WHAT YOUR AFTER! (Hes seemingly unharmed and dancing) (several gaurds run out of two hallways either side of the desk) Guards: COOL BABIES (Shot Guy leans over his desk with an eyebrow raised inquizitivly) SG: SO STRANGE BUT NOT A STRANGER (With each syilable they advance on her) Chick: Im. an. Ord.In.a.ry. GUY! (Pointing accusingly) Guys: BURNIN DOWN THE HOUSE

	2007.08.12  02.37 ASa8657416: well paul you are on the cusp of a great journey paulluvscars: yeah, im gonna ride the Jim Bean trane all the way to Mumbai ASa8657416: hell yes. when do you move in paulluvscars: eh uhm the 20th? maybe? something like that ASa8657416: sweet how are those dorms at st thomas paulluvscars: really nice, each one has it's own bathroom with shower, and they come with a minifridge and a microwave ASa8657416: ddddaaaammmnn paulluvscars: yeah it's all that catholic money ASa8657416: you dont share that bathroom? paulluvscars: nope ASa8657416: catholic huh? paulluvscars: it's a catholic school ASa8657416: were gonna need alot of booze for this one paulluvscars: it's filled with the irish and communion wine ASa8657416: whre is that located? paulluvscars: i need to do more scouting paulluvscars: recon ASa8657416: I have sunglasses paulluvscars: are they my sunglasses? ASa8657416: no I gave those back remember paulluvscars: *shrug* ASa8657416: well. your going to be free now paul. free in the big city ASa8657416: which means we gotta have a talk ASa8657416: a talk about protection. paulluvscars: don't worry, im sure my mom will come to my dorm and be like a jewish mother every day ASa8657416: Im not going to bullshit paul. youre going to need a gun and you will need that gun to protect you from black people. paulluvscars: no argument here ASa8657416: because when nasty nate is pounding on your door at 3 am wondering where his money is mom is not gonna be able to help paulluvscars: surely nasty nate can listen to reason ASa8657416: NASTY NATE IS TOO HIGH ON CRACK TO LISTEN TO DICK PAUL ASa8657416: HE WANTS BITCH MONEY ARE YOU GONNA GIVE HIM BITCH MONEY PAUL ARE YOU? paulluvscars: never ASa8657416: damn right paulluvscars: it's just like the irish poet laureate Robert Burns said, "the best laid plans of Nasty Nate oft go astray, and leave him not but grief and pain for promised money" ASa8657416: you hit him with some robert burns he wont know what the fuck paulluvscars: or a 357 magnum

	2007.06.04  05.23 ASa8657416: goddamnit Japan robots are terrifying DF WhiteShadow: i don't even know how to reply to you anymore ASa8657416: what? ASa8657416: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ahJjF2fLSl8 ASa8657416: did you watch that? ASa8657416: Its terrifying DF WhiteShadow: yea... unfortunately i don't speak japanese ASa8657416: well the point is they made a robot with eerily fluid movements. ASa8657416: it looks like a guy in a suit and it scares me. DF WhiteShadow: lol ASa8657416: what is up The Turk? ASa8657416: killed any gypsies? DF WhiteShadow: only a few DF WhiteShadow: im off my game ASa8657416: well they summer in the north DF WhiteShadow is away at 4:04 AM DF WhiteShadow: hmm in the north you say DF WhiteShadow: i might have to attack them in the north then DF WhiteShadow: where is their stronghold? ASa8657416: gypsies are nomads they dont have a stronghold Auto response from DF WhiteShadow: I am away from my computer right now. DF WhiteShadow: you are wrong DF WhiteShadow: there must be DF WhiteShadow: a... gypsie homeland ASa8657416: ...no theres not that is why they are gypsies DF WhiteShadow: STOP YOU LIE DF WhiteShadow: I WILL END YOU DF WhiteShadow: WHERE IS THE GYPSIE HOMELAND! DF WhiteShadow: traitor DF WhiteShadow: i knew you were one of them DF WhiteShadow: i have ways of making you talk ASa8657416: oh man ASa8657416: make me talk ASa8657416: make ME TALK?! DF WhiteShadow: that's right, i will lock you in a room with that robot DF WhiteShadow: and not let you out until you either talk, or have sex with it ASa8657416: YOU DONT KNOW WHO YOUR DEALING WITHno not the robot DF WhiteShadow: yes the robot ASa8657416: you have no access to the robot youve probably never even met a japanise person DF WhiteShadow: i totally had sex with one last week yo DF WhiteShadow: and i watch lots of anime DF WhiteShadow: i bet they would let me borrow it DF WhiteShadow: if i asked them nicely ASa8657416: well it wont help because I was telling the truth there is no gypsie homeland there filthy nomads DF WhiteShadow: i will have my sources check into this DF WhiteShadow: you better be right Eyes DF WhiteShadow: or soon, i will have to come up with a new nick name for you ASa8657416: Dont you talk down to me. Turk. DF WhiteShadow: The turk is hungry ASa8657416: THE TURK MUST HAVE A DELICIOUS MINI PIZZA ASa8657416: NOW DF WhiteShadow: The turk... is intrigued by your offer of a delicious mini pizza ASa8657416: Are you in houston? DF WhiteShadow: where must the turk go to obtain this delicious morsel of american culinary design DF WhiteShadow: alas, the turk is in dallas ASa8657416: trapped in the suck hole of texas DF WhiteShadow: unfortunately DF WhiteShadow: well.. there are lots of sex shops in the suck hole of dallas ASa8657416: So? DF WhiteShadow: filled with plenty of toys to fill one's suck hole DF WhiteShadow: i could potentially plug the suck hole of texas ASa8657416: This new mission is intruging DF WhiteShadow: i will scout the toy shops for something which claims it can "plug a suck hole" DF WhiteShadow: and then purchase their largest one DF WhiteShadow: however, in order to bring ink and paper into this, the wording on the packaging must say suck hole plug DF WhiteShadow: or suggested use, suck hole ASa8657416: I think your going to need something a little bigger than an average sex shop item to plug a city man Auto response from DF WhiteShadow: I am away from my computer right now. DF WhiteShadow: perhaps we can create one ASa8657416: call your crooked union contacts The Turk. ASa8657416: weve got some designing to do DF WhiteShadow: what are suck hole plugs comprised of these days? DF WhiteShadow: latex? silicon? ASa8657416: latex sounds right ASa8657416: finding 43 metric tones of latex will be easy ASa8657416: its the 10 story butt plug mold that is the trick DF WhiteShadow: hmmm DF WhiteShadow: ill get on it DF WhiteShadow: i might have to delve into photoshop for this one ASa8657416: delve. DF WhiteShadow: im off to bed eyes ASa8657416: WHAT WE PLAN TO DO HERE TODAY.... ASa8657416: IS SOMETHING NO MAN HAS ATTEPTED BEFORE DF WhiteShadow: hopefully, we will go down in history for this ASa8657416: WITH THIS LATEX VESSLE AS OUR GUIDE DF WhiteShadow: i cannot think of anything more fitting ASa8657416: WE PLAN TO "PENETRATE TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH"

	2006.12.18  03.20 ASa8657416: paul Paul Luvs Cars: yes? ASa8657416: I need you to fly to berlin and kill a very evil man for me. ASa8657416: Its 50 grand for 2 days of work Paul Luvs Cars: and so begins a life long career as an assassin Paul Luvs Cars: "see the world!" he said "meet interesting people!" he said "...then kill them" ASa8657416: So are you in or not? Paul Luvs Cars: of course im in, but it's got to be half now and half when the job is done ASa8657416: naturaly. ASa8657416: The target in question is a one Yuri Zargov. Im sending you a file photo now. ATTENTION: Waiting for Buddy... ATTENTION: File Transfer started. ATTENTION: File Transfer successful. Paul Luvs Cars: ... is he affiliated with Volvo? ASa8657416: What this man has done is not of your concern, but trust that his list of crimes is long and numerous. ASa8657416: No thats a sign in the backround. Paul Luvs Cars: do we know his daily habits? ASa8657416: Every thursday at 11 am Yuri likes to visit the insect room at the Berlin Institute of Natural Science (BINS). ASa8657416: Bugs you know. Creepy Crawly things. Likes to be around his own kind. Paul Luvs Cars: near a window? ASa8657416: its towards the interior of the building so no. It will have to be a close up job. and silent. Paul Luvs Cars: would a fast acting poison be acceptable? ASa8657416: No Im afraid not. You'll have to be in and out with as little baggage as possible. ASa8657416: Something... simpler will have to suffice Paul Luvs Cars: fiberglass deringer with silencer, 2.5 in by 2.5 in by 1/2 in? ASa8657416: I dont need to know details thats your job. I just want it done right. ASa8657416: Paul what do you know about making a videogame? Paul Luvs Cars: my buddy is a programmer who is making a 3D rendering library as we speak so he can make his own video games ASa8657416: no YOU paul. Paul Luvs Cars: near nothing ASa8657416: do you do any sprite work? Paul Luvs Cars: nope Paul Luvs Cars: all I know is game developement is an endevour you've got to go into cock in hand ASa8657416: could you go into detail on that one? Paul Luvs Cars: you know ... cock in hand, with an air of confidence, but not so much confidence that you will succeed, just confidence that you're gonna go into it ASa8657416: hmm. ASa8657416: makes sense ASa8657416: cock in hand Paul Luvs Cars: I wrote the urban dictionary for it ASa8657416: I thought your last name was barnes Paul Luvs Cars: it is Paul Luvs Cars: I took Tim Leary's last name ASa8657416: why? Paul Luvs Cars: cause he's cool Paul Luvs Cars is away at 11:26 P.M. Paul Luvs Cars returned at 12:02 A.M. ATTENTION: Waiting for Buddy... ATTENTION: File Transfer started. ATTENTION: File Transfer successful. ASa8657416: cock in hand paul Paul Luvs Cars: always Paul Luvs Cars: for example, i am taking my senior year cock in hand Paul Luvs Cars: and i am taking the college admissions process cock in hand ASa8657416: thought you were just going to U of H Paul Luvs Cars: yeah but my dad made me apply everywhere else too ASa8657416: Now remeber paul. Youve got to take down this russian cock in hand. Paul Luvs Cars: of course

	2006.11.24  01.33 GuySpenzz: you ever find any weed? ASa8657416: Alright you see that can never happen again what you just did there. GuySpenzz: yeah my bad, wasnt thinking, did I get you in trouble GuySpenzz: I should have thought about you not being at your own place ASa8657416: nah I got lucky. My MOTHER was working in explorer but did not think to turn off the AOL. GuySpenzz: jesus christ man, I feel like such an asshole ASa8657416: Dont sweat it nothing happened. GuySpenzz: good, thats one of those senarios that I always dreded happening ASa8657416: Guess I should go talk to ryan now thanks tim. GuySpenzz: you wouldnt know my name ASa8657416: ah ha! Good eye. GuySpenzz: no shit GuySpenzz: haha good try though ASa8657416: all we can do in this crazy world is try. GuySpenzz: success is only a point of view ASa8657416: So I met this chick who works as a private investigator. GuySpenzz: oh no shit? ASa8657416: She tells me that theres this cemetary down on 45 where this dude who looks like the marblo man appears every night leaning up against his gravestone. ASa8657416: They hired her to go check it out. GuySpenzz: sounds like crazy talk ASa8657416: Nah a friend of mine used to work for her company, Blue Moon investigators. ASa8657416: She finds and yells at him. He looks at her but he doesnt say anthing. GuySpenzz: I know what blue moon is, I was talking about smokey the ghost ASa8657416: she seemed preety serious. Says they got video. ASa8657416: her pokin her hand through him. GuySpenzz: dude, we should go check it out ASa8657416: yea I know. ASa8657416: that was my plan. ASa8657416: its across from, get this, Half Price coffins. GuySpenzz: hahaha GuySpenzz: slashing prices to the grave and back GuySpenzz: when do you plan on going? do you know what time and what grave? ASa8657416: Prices so low there 6 feet under! GuySpenzz: haha ASa8657416: well thats the thing he appears at night, but not at a specific time. It was a stakeout job you see. GuySpenzz: oh damn GuySpenzz: so an all night deal ASa8657416: Or I can try to get the video, to see if it is worth it. GuySpenzz: that too is true GuySpenzz: how cool would that shit be ASa8657416: yea she was so matter o fact about it too Im like "no way you faked it" and shes like "Theres no reason we get paid either way." GuySpenzz: oh no shit, talk her into letting you see it man, that shit could be entertaining ASa8657416: yea. I was like "well you have video proof why not show the world" and shes like "Eh we dont need that kind of publicity, plus nobody belives us anyway" GuySpenzz: dude. sounds kinda hokey ASa8657416: well she hasnt given me a reason to not belive her. GuySpenzz: yeah, but she hasnt given you proof either ASa8657416: True, true. Putting her at 0, which is higher than most Paranormal bullshit I hear. GuySpenzz: yeah thats true GuySpenzz: man, now I wanna see this ASa8657416: yea I know right. ASa8657416: Man making gifs is fun. ASa8657416: http://i15.tinypic.com/4h8wld1.gif GuySpenzz: you should get into animation ASa8657416: yea I realy like it. Hold on Im making a big one GuySpenzz: alright GuySpenzz: hey do you know the name of that cemetary? ASa8657416: forgot. GuySpenzz: damn, Im looking at google earth trying to find one on 45, theres one near nasa 1 and another a little bit closer to galveston ASa8657416: find half price coffins. ASa8657416: http://i10.tinypic.com/2em3cp1.gif GuySpenzz: thats cool as shit dude, in the url it has the little tank ASa8657416: wait what? GuySpenzz: I found a place that advertises half price coffins but there isnt any place called half price, if that is the right place then its right over by nasa road one. GuySpenzz: the animation. its also in the url bar on the far left GuySpenzz: kinda like a logo for a website ASa8657416: huh I cant get it to work. What are you using? GuySpenzz: mozilla firefox GuySpenzz: damn, thats kinda a big cemetary, we would have to know the name on the grave, or the general area ASa8657416: yea GuySpenzz: damn you ryan, youve made me entirely too interested in this ghost thing ASa8657416: yes. Ghosts are interesting GuySpenzz: google earth is interesting. I was using it too look at the cemetary, now im just looking at mountains in ireland ASa8657416: yea I know right? GuySpenzz: its some crazy shit, the roads in dublin, ireland are like some crazy mess of lines ASa8657416: what do you mean? GuySpenzz: on the map, the streets are like in no particular grid or anything, they just go in a direction till they hit something ASa8657416: sort of like a drunk driver. ASa8657416: think about it. GuySpenzz: hahaha GuySpenzz: the photos of england and ireland and all that jazz suck, but damn are they green ASa8657416: always raining GuySpenzz: pretty much GuySpenzz: london kinda looks like the deathstar. GuySpenzz: Im gonna go man, ill talk to you later ASa8657416: k. Ill give you a call tommorow. GuySpenzz: alright, my number is 832 884 3441 in case you still have my old number ASa8657416: thats cell phone? GuySpenzz: yeah ASa8657416: hey they voted against building that highway superoverpass in seabrook. GuySpenzz: oh yeah, I guess thats good ASa8657416: cool beans GuySpenzz: jawesome GuySpenzz: later GuySpenzz signed off at 12:33 A.M.

	2006.11.22  03.54

	2006.11.22  03.54 GuySpenzz: Whats up man ASa8657416: back for thanksgiving GuySpenzz: bad ass, we need to hang out ASa8657416: cool. GuySpenzz: How long are you back for ASa8657416: till sunday I guess. GuySpenzz: cool cool GuySpenzz: What have you been doing while your not getting your education on ASa8657416: drugs mostly. Also I work as a cameraman for the campus TV station. GuySpenzz: haha, when did you start doing drugs? ASa8657416: round the beginning of this year. ASa8657416: Also partying 24/7 GuySpenzz: I started that shit about a year ago, pretty much a year exactly ASa8657416: realy? we should celebrate. GuySpenzz: hahaha hell yeah ASa8657416: where the hell can I get pot in seabrook? GuySpenzz: hahahaha I dont know man! GuySpenzz: I ran out today! ASa8657416: Man I dont want to drive all the way up to the third ward. GuySpenzz: I got really high and watched 6 hours of heroes and when it was over I realised I was out ASa8657416: haha. ASa8657416: awsome. GuySpenzz: heroes is an awesome show. I could get franz to get some. just not tonight ASa8657416: what are prices like out in denton? GuySpenzz: denton? I dont know ASa8657416: well wherever you go to colledge. Thought it was denton GuySpenzz: I was in amarillo. I never bought when I was up there GuySpenzz: I think it was pretty expensive because it was kinda a dry town ASa8657416: well where do you buy it man? GuySpenzz: I used to get it from a guy I worked with, real cheap and real good. but I stockpiled it and left the job and when I ran out I started getting it from brad brown and people franz knows ASa8657416: Ah. How many G's for a dime? GuySpenzz: I only buy 20 sacks or ounces, but I would think probably one or one and a half for a dime ASa8657416: oh. oh jesus. are you serious? ASa8657416: 1 gram for 10 dollars? GuySpenzz: I dont know prices to well man, im probably way off ASa8657416: well I get 6 to 7 minimum for a dime. If what you say is true we could become pot barrons of the bay area. GuySpenzz: Im thinking of hydro dude GuySpenzz: 10 should get you about a quarter ounce of shwag GuySpenzz: ever had brownies? ASa8657416: well reverse my statment then. no I have not. ASa8657416: you ever had coke? GuySpenzz: brownies last way longer, wanted to do coke but never got around to it ASa8657416: It is mediocre for me. You feel... cool. Like coke takes you to you max potential for coolness. Like that confedence you gain when your drunk but without being drunk. GuySpenzz: thats what I heard GuySpenzz: I havent been sober for about a week and now I really dont want to be sober but I cant get anything GuySpenzz: brb ASa8657416: well... If you want to take a trip up to houston I can get you anything If youve got money. ASa8657416: anything ASa8657416: anything GuySpenzz: Thats the problem man. I have no money. GuySpenzz: ever done acid? ASa8657416: many chances, never had the money. ASa8657416: also slightly afraid of it. GuySpenzz: Ive heard mixed reviews GuySpenzz: my friend told me that he was sitting in his friends house and satan ripped the roof off and threatened to eat his soul ASa8657416: Protip: Orange Juice is like an overdrive booster for phsycadelics. GuySpenzz: I tooks ex and drank alot of orange juice ASa8657416: yea how was that? GuySpenzz: it didnt effect me at all GuySpenzz: everyone else got high, but I just got nothing ASa8657416: sucks GuySpenzz: yeah, money wasted GuySpenzz: my brother and his friends used to take acid and go on those hike and bike trails with a backpack full of beer and just get lost for up to 8 hours ASa8657416: realy. ASa8657416: your brother? GuySpenzz: my oldest brother ASa8657416: ah GuySpenzz: not the one you met GuySpenzz: hes insane ASa8657416: I was seriously confused there for a second. It made sense yet it didnt. GuySpenzz: my oldest brother is the coolest person I have ever met, and this isnt my biased opinion, he used to treat me like shit. GuySpenzz: Hes been shot before, in a drug hiast ASa8657416: yea. I know I treat my little brother like shit. GuySpenzz: I started hanging out with my brother recently and he has the craziest stories. He was the biggest drug dealer in seabrook for a long time, pitty he isnt now. ASa8657416: ho hum. GuySpenzz: I really want to try acid though. get all tripped out and walk around in the woods ASa8657416: I once drank and smoked until I passed out. And then I woke up, walked home, passed out on the porch of the building, woke up, got back to my room and what I can only describe as a bad trip. GuySpenzz: haha ASa8657416: it was the worst experence of my life and Ill never forget it GuySpenzz: I got drunk and high at this club once and walked outside and stomped on someones hood untill I slipped and landed on my back on the ground. that wasnt to bad though. what made it soooo bad? ASa8657416: Imagne being able to examine every aspect of yourself from the 3rd person and hateing everything about yourself. It was your car. ASa8657416: While that was happening all my anxieties were amplifed a thousandfold and shot straight to the forfront of my brain. GuySpenzz: I have had that happen, I was really high and I pretty much relived my childhood from an outside perspective and I have done my best to be the perfection of all I saw. GuySpenzz: it wasnt my car GuySpenzz: If I get mildly high, I like to watch movies or tv or play video games. When I get blitzed to the point that im incapable of doing those things, I examine the underpinnings of the universe, I tread the backtrails of my mind and all that hippy shit ASa8657416: haha. ASa8657416: so the democrats have taken over congress. and the senate. GuySpenzz: I used to smoke gooood hydro with some people at U of H. the first time I smoked out of a bong, I could barely move, but the wind outside felt like blankets of silk. It was insane. GuySpenzz: yeah really man. they have the upper hand ASa8657416: guess whats first on the agenda? ASa8657416: guess. GuySpenzz: legalize weed! nah, um, something about war? ASa8657416: reinstitute the draft. GuySpenzz: ooooo suck GuySpenzz: I am a section 4. practicaly useless to them, thank you diabetes ASa8657416: arseome. GuySpenzz: I wish I could fight in some european war, not fucking middle east or anything GuySpenzz: like ww2 ASa8657416: I dont. We accidentaly killed more of our own troops on a good day in WW2 than all of the casulaties in iraq combined. GuySpenzz: I understand that, I just dont like the technology involved in combat today, takes the thrill down ASa8657416: fuck thrill, I want to live. GuySpenzz: I live for the thrill of life, but it doesnt matter, I cant even go through boot camp ASa8657416: I live for the thrill of life too. War would be the thrill of death. GuySpenzz: Imagine how intense it could be though, the concept of putting my life on the line makes life so much better for me ASa8657416: climb a mountain GuySpenzz: I do things that I know wont kill me but will give me a rush, but that rush would be nothing compared to what it would be like to be in combat. GuySpenzz: mountains narrow the higher you get, everyone going to the top ends up in the same place. traveling is like expanding the higher you get, I dont want to take the same path as everyone else or end up in the same place, but I want a hell of a time getting where Im going ASa8657416: DESTINATIONS IN THE JOURNEY MAAAAAAAN GuySpenzz: then again. if I could do something that I considered meaningful in my life, I would be just as satisfied in the long run ASa8657416: tell me if this looks weird. ATTENTION: Waiting for Buddy... GuySpenzz: I fucked that up, try again ATTENTION: File Transfer successful. ATTENTION: AOL Instant File Transfer invitation canceled. ATTENTION: Waiting for Buddy... ATTENTION: File Transfer started. ATTENTION: File Transfer successful. GuySpenzz: haha thats bad ass GuySpenzz: it looks a bit odd when he pulls it out though ASa8657416: How so? GuySpenzz: like he fiddles with it too much ASa8657416: hmm GuySpenzz: maybe if his hand disapeared in his jacket for a moment instead of that jiggle thing he does GuySpenzz: jacket, shirt. all the same ASa8657416: well the idea is hes searching for it. GuySpenzz: I looked at it closer and yeah, it doesnt look that bad GuySpenzz: it was just really small ASa8657416: mabye if I sped it up GuySpenzz: maybe, it might look more fluid if its faster ASa8657416: alright. ATTENTION: Waiting for Buddy... ATTENTION: File Transfer started. ATTENTION: File Transfer successful. ASa8657416: how bout that one? GuySpenzz: looks like hes dancing and giving the finger, I got a kick out of it ASa8657416: cool. I was going for walking but whatever. GuySpenzz: haha yeah thats what I figured GuySpenzz: what do you think of this ATTENTION: GuySpenzz is attempting to send you the file: IMADOCTER.jpg ATTENTION: Waiting for Buddy... ATTENTION: File Transfer started. ATTENTION: File Transfer successful. ASa8657416: you are NOT a docter GuySpenzz: I know, sadly, but I was one for haloween ASa8657416: what did you use to make it? GuySpenzz: photoshop GuySpenzz: I painted pretty much ASa8657416: realy? It looks like you used a bunch of filters on a picture. If you painted that theres realy no reason to study art in college you got it down. GuySpenzz: I wish that was true, I still have alot to learn to be up to par with the competition GuySpenzz: but they say practice makes perfect ASa8657416: I guess. I thought it was a real picture. GuySpenzz: nope, I used a photo for reference though GuySpenzz: I like to draw when Im high too, never know whats gonna come of that ASa8657416: Ill show you exactly what comes of that ASa8657416: http://i9.tinypic.com/4bp7a77.png GuySpenzz: haha, you drew that? ASa8657416: yea. I get stoned and then make these threads on SA at like 2 am where people tell me to draw things GuySpenzz: hahaha that rocks GuySpenzz: its good to have other people tell you what to draw ASa8657416: oh hell I got better ones GuySpenzz: show me ASa8657416: hmmm... oh yea this one ASa8657416: http://i15.tinypic.com/3zaufl3.png GuySpenzz: hahaah dig it ASa8657416: I want to do a metropolitan style comic about living in the shitty part of houston but I dont have the patience or skill. ASa8657416: or time. GuySpenzz: I could help, I always wanted to do a comic but I lack the direction and writing skills ASa8657416: and realy I dont want to do it as much as I want my thoughts to magicly jump to the paper. GuySpenzz: hell yeah, that would be the easy way ASa8657416: someday... ASa8657416: Im going to sleep now. GuySpenzz: yeah same here GuySpenzz: catch ya later

	2006.10.23  18.19

	2006.10.19  15.15

	2006.08.30  01.03 ASa165207: yoyo ASa165207: what up Doombat INC: not much ASa165207: want to help me make enemies for a BYOB sidescrolling shooter? Doombat INC: depends on how much of a help you expect me to be (ie are you asking "make me enemies for a BYOB sidescrolling shooter I want them on my desk by friday") ASa165207: ...well no its just kind of fun. Doombat INC: okay then that's cool :-) Doombat INC: yeah whatever enemies you make one needs to be on a pogo stick ASa165207: currently I got a thread going where Im making them out of avatars. ASa165207: but just make a thing. then make the thing shooting/flaping wings/whatever extra frame to give him movment, then make the thing exploding. ASa165207: and then PM it to Planet Idiot Doombat INC: does the explosion need to be multi-frame or just like a mario style "whoops!" little graphic while he falls offscreen ASa165207: whoops. ASa165207: unless you going for a boss or something. Doombat INC: nah he's just a little 64x64 dude who hops ASa165207: thats cool. I dont know if he can make them hop though I havent seen any hoppers so far. Doombat INC: then he'll just have a kind of silly/stupid walk animation I guess ASa165207: hey whatever. Its quanity over quality up in this peice ASa165207: unless your me ASa165207: then you get both Doombat INC: here's the little dude I hope he's okay http://imagesocket.com/view/lstargazera8b4.gif ASa165207: hehe cool Doombat INC: and here's his hop (he flexes when he hops because he's pretty strong despite his obvious limitations) http://imagesocket.com/view/lstargazerbec6.gif ASa165207: hmm. that is cool mabye he could put him in a later level where you can see the ground. ASa165207: the current level themes are flying thorough mountains and space. Doombat INC: and here he is falling away :-( http://imagesocket.com/view/lstargazerx2e7.gif ASa165207: haha Doombat INC: I could always make a rocket version of him for space missions ASa165207: go for it. I took your rocket pogo Idea. Doombat INC: awesome Doombat INC: flying in space, also flying but now flexing and with a longer jet, flies away upside down and the jet is now out of control! ASa165207: heres what I got SO FAR ASa165207: http://www.ultra-imagehost.com/uploads/ce5f767dc7.png ASa165207: hehe Doombat INC: that is awesome man I am so out of practice on pixel art ASa165207: I used to do a preety graphic intesive pixel webcomic(yea I hate me too) Doombat INC: I would mostly do 32x32 graphics in ResEdit for mac RPGs on my performa. that was, like, five or six years ago. ASa165207: No Idea. Penguin BC was doing a BYOB Rpg but Microwave talked him out of it. I hate microwave. Doombat INC: well it would probably kill him Doombat INC: unlike platformers, RPGs tend to kill your soul halfway through development ASa165207: haha Xjakk. Doombat INC: heh I worked on an RPG for well over a year in junior high and it never even got close to being done ASa165207: yes well when you can do it its awsome. and there DOES need to be a sequel to awful fantasy Doombat INC: only if the characters are made even more useless ASa165207: hell yes ASa165207: the problem is you would need a team of non flaky people. which is HARD to put together Doombat INC: gah dont I know it ASa165207: http://www.ultra-imagehost.com/uploads/06451bd4cb.png ASa165207: shit what would you need? youd need a code guy, a script guy, and a graphics guy. Doombat INC: you would probably want multiple graphics guys for the multiple kinds of graphics (sprites, backgrounds, tiles, effects), a couple different scripters (or at least have a main scripter and have the members learn a little script), a primary code guy and a spare code guy for when the primary inevidibly leaves ASa165207: yea but thats like 7 people. It may take 3 forever but thered be less chance of a dropout. Doombat INC: on the other hand, a dropout would be a way bigger hit to the team Doombat INC: if your one graphics guy leaves, uh oh. but if your tiles and effects guy leaves, the slack can be picked up ASa165207: true ASa165207: though youd have massive dropouts the longer the project goes on, and it would be harder to find another team. Doombat INC: timing is really more of an issue there than size Doombat INC: opening any project with college-aged members anywhere near the start or end of a quarter is suicide Doombat INC: and trust me, most of your members will be college aged ASa165207: I suppose. But you cant realy enforce deadlines on people that dont get paid. I guess you would need to completley organzie the thing start to finnish beforehand and then get like a freakin massive group of like 50 people willing to hammer out your vision. Doombat INC: or pay them (I have done this in the past out of pocket) ASa165207: bwahaha pay. ASa165207: what did you make? Doombat INC: more like what did I start. little project I hope to get going again with more members than me at some point, cant talk to much about it as it's some hushush shit ASa165207: well Ill help you out I got nothing but time at this point. ASa165207: yo haf seen what I can do Doombat INC: can you do 3D? ASa165207: no. ASa165207: never liked 3d Doombat INC: neither did I. took some classes about it, went to a Maya seminar, never really clicked ASa165207: so whys the project 3d then? Doombat INC: would save time in the long-run, as it meant the difference between a new skin and a new entire catalogue of sprites for certain things ASa165207: yea but you have to work twice as hard for it to look half as good. Doombat INC: true, but the absolutely insane amount of crap would be either too hard to keep catalogued in sprite form or we'd have to cut corners (and I hate cutting corners) ASa165207: blah. If I can catilog the pannels and poses for that stupid webcomic I can catalog that. ASa165207: Hell you never know I might have half your material already made sitting on my harddrive. Doombat INC: well it was a top-down online role play game/strategy game where technology advanced as the game went on, had about fifty billion different weapons, eleven zillions armors, couple gajillion vehicles... ASa165207: that is cool. The online aspect would kill you though Doombat INC: the online aspect was sort of the point ASa165207: yea but then the game never ends, you are forever tied to it. Doombat INC: it was --is, as I still work on it almost daily-- like playing alpha centauri, only you're one of the colonizers Doombat INC: oh the game ends, there's no NPCs but instead six teams of human players ASa165207: ehhh still. There would have to be alot of money thrown around to make that work Doombat INC: only if I was trying to make it on a WoW scale. Im thinking more like a browser game with graphics ASa165207: oh. then theres no animation? Doombat INC: there is but it would all be client side and extremely stripped (unless suddenly I could stop working a job or paying rent and had a billion dollars then hoo boy would there be animation) ASa165207: hmm... ASa165207: I say... ASa165207: GO WITH YOUR HEART Doombat INC: THAT'S IT TOMORROW I AM WAGE SLAVE NO MORE BUT INSTEAD FULLTIME GAME DESIGNER/STREET LIVER ASa165207: HOORAY Doombat INC: heheheh ASa165207: I HAVE TOUCHED A LIFE

	2006.08.09  02.48 DF WhiteShadow: >.> DF WhiteShadow: im bored DF WhiteShadow: de-bored me DF WhiteShadow: go ASa8657416: http://upload.enetation.co.uk/upload.php DF WhiteShadow: i have nothing to upload DF WhiteShadow: next! ASa8657416: http://upload.enetation.co.uk/uploads/bf23444a1c.png DF WhiteShadow: the canadian army? ASa8657416: what DF WhiteShadow: what is that? ASa8657416: huh DF WhiteShadow: do you ever look in FYAD? ASa8657416: >You are in a room. There is a door to your left. the floor smells strongly of pennys. DF WhiteShadow: >exits DF WhiteShadow: i like this idea, keep going DF WhiteShadow: run with it ASa8657416: >you have exited the game. you are sitting in your fart stained chair in your mothers basement. Your silk dragon shirt smells of tacos. There is a hallway to your left. Curent Relationship Status: Single. DF WhiteShadow: >hallway ASa8657416: >You shout "hallway" for no particular reason. Your mother yells at you to keep it down. DF WhiteShadow: >access BYOB ASa8657416: >Your fingers hungrly claw the keyboard as you bring up your favorite website, SOMETHINGAWFUL.COM. You navigate to the forums and click on the BYOB link thinking to yourself "heh. time to chill with the cool kids" DF WhiteShadow: >Read post about music and turn into angry internet guy. ASa8657416: >You click on a thread titled "System of the Down, great band? or the greatest band?" Such disrespect for your narrown taste in music fills you with an overpowering sense of nerd rage. You click on the thread to distribute witty and well thought out burn to make the OP cry and make all the girls want to have sex with you. What is your post? DF WhiteShadow: System of a down? More like... SYSTEM OF A CLOWN! ASa8657416: >You hit the submit button with a preternatural glee. "YOU JUST MADE A POST ON AN INTERNET FORUM we hope it didnt suck" pops up. "Heh", you think, "It sure as hell didnt". As soon as the page reloads you slam F5 with renewed vigor, knowing that THIS is the post that is going to make you an internet superstar. "All in need is a no content quote" you think, as you continue to pound F5. Its taking quite awhile. Then the impossible happens. The screen goes sickly green! The thread has been gassed! NOOOOOOoooo.. ASa8657416: ooo! You scream in agony. Your mother yells more angrily at you to keep it down. You have not achived forum superstardom. Relationship status: Single DF WhiteShadow: damnit DF WhiteShadow: this game is hard DF WhiteShadow: >get ye vase ASa8657416: >what vase? DF WhiteShadow: >receives item "what vase" ASa8657416: >what is "recives item "what vase"? DF WhiteShadow: >play's world of warcraft hoping to find a girlfriend. ASa8657416: >You sign on to world of warcraft Loading... ASa8657416: WOW has now loaded. You have 2 characters. Narturofan12387, a level 57 taurn shaman 1, a level 1 dark elf DF WhiteShadow: >sign on Narutofan12387 DF WhiteShadow: >masturbate ASa8657416: >You are dropped into the world of Azeroth. The digital sun shines above you as you stare over the plains of the Tauren homeland, but this is not why your here, your running a quest of a much diffrent design. You must find someplace private or they will all "know". You are in Thunderhoof. ASa8657416: >You are AFK DF WhiteShadow: >cast warstomp chainlightning DF WhiteShadow: >go to auctionhauss ASa8657416: You go to auction house. Everyone is standing in place errily crys of GOLD 4 PC AZR LIGHTING CROTCH 555 GOOOLD L@@K... permiate the room.

	2006.07.31  01.01 http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=1981533&perpage=40&pagenumber=1

	2006.07.30  23.54 ASa8657416: yo Auto response from Dork Covenant: Starforce is bullshit. Dork Covenant: yo ASa8657416: thats whaty you get for trying to steal PIRATE. Dork Covenant: Dumbfuck Dork Covenant: I wanted to get a game and then I found out it had starforce Dork Covenant: So I can't get it until I figure out a way to run the game without starforce ASa8657416: ...buy the game legaly? Dork Covenant: Yeah, I meant to buy the fucking game legally ASa8657416: Right. So whats the problem? Dork Covenant: The fact that it comes with starforce! Dork Covenant: I don't want starforce on my computer ASa8657416: what have you got to hide sean? ASa8657416: what have you got to hide from STARFORCE Dork Covenant: I don't feel like talking "stupid" right now ASa8657416: seriously though get over this nanana geek bullshit. If you dont have a legitamate reason to not have this starforce enabled game your just punishing yourself. Dork Covenant: Say what now? ASa8657416: The last time I checked starforce didnt delete all your files then jump out of the monotor and assrape you. Dork Covenant: I never did Dork Covenant: I never said it did ASa8657416: why are we arguing about this? ASa8657416: I forgot Dork Covenant: Because you're an idiot? I don't know, you just started spouting stupid like a geyser ASa8657416: DAAAAMMMNNN ASa8657416: nice Dork Covenant: Starforce is a bullshit piece of software that completely compromises the security of your computer--assuming you like to use the internet--and can potentially destroy your DVD drive ASa8657416: oh well dont use it. Dork Covenant: THAT'S MY FUCKING POINT! ASa8657416: BWAHAHA Dork Covenant: Jesus Christ ASa8657416: what game is it anyway? Dork Covenant: City Life Dork Covenant: City builder game ASa8657416: hmmm... ASa8657416: I havent heard of it. Dork Covenant: Aye, it's new, I enjoy the soundtrack and it seems fun ASa8657416: Its not impossible to crack starforce. Dork Covenant: True, but a) I want to buy a legal copy and b) Asher said that while you can crack starforce, you'd still have to have starforce on the computer to run the game ASa8657416: well Id say get over it if you want to play the game Dork Covenant: I want to play the game, I'm not installing Starforce Dork Covenant: So fuck that ASa8657416: ... you could... be bitter about it. Dork Covenant: I will, jerk ASa8657416: Also get linux. I hear that fixes everything. Dork Covenant: I like Linux, I'm going to install it on my laptop ASa8657416: Does linux have windows? Dork Covenant: ... ASa8657416: does it? I cant imagine how a system could work without a pop up window system Dork Covenant: I can't think of any way you could mean that question and not have it be stupid ASa8657416: well thats because your in asshole mode Dork Covenant: Yes, it does a GUI with windows ASa8657416: well there sean Dork Covenant: I'm not in asshole mode; you're just in irritating mode ASa8657416: no. your all cheesed off about starforce. ASa8657416: lookin for a fight Dork Covenant: I'm going to go eat Dork Covenant: Bye ASa8657416: ok Auto response from Dork Covenant: Starforce is bullshit.

	2006.07.28  23.20 ASa8657416: YO GloriousPeanut: Did you get what I said? ASa8657416: no GloriousPeanut: Are you ready for this? GloriousPeanut: Metal Gear Solid 5: Snakes on a Plane ASa8657416: That movie is going to be stellar. Simply Stellar. ASa8657416: What have you been doing all summer? GloriousPeanut: Working. You? ASa8657416: working where? I havent even seen you man. GloriousPeanut: Driving all over town. Just finished a week in a school in Sugarland ASa8657416: Sugarland? why were you in sugarland? GloriousPeanut: My job. With Mad Science. Traveling around the city teaching summer classes. ASa8657416: Did you do that thing where you light your and on fire? GloriousPeanut: No, more mundane stuff ASa8657416: laaaammmeee. Kids want fire and explosions, or farts if they cant get that. You know this. GloriousPeanut: Yeah I know. Goddamned liability; give me freedom to use corporal punishment and 10 pounds of ammonium nitrate, and you've got yourself a class. ASa8657416: damn right. ASa8657416: Let the kids with blown off fingers be a warning to the otheres. ASa8657416: Thin out the herd. GloriousPeanut: So how's that movie coming? ASa8657416: Freds a flake. Were a month behind. Did get to shoot one day though. He says he wants me in the movies now, wants to turn me into the embodyment of jimmy buffet. ASa8657416: Freds... freds kind of fucked up Ive noticed. GloriousPeanut: ... yeah. ASa8657416: Like, when I call him well get to talking... ASa8657416: and he'll go on for like a half an hour about his filmaking style... ASa8657416: and Ill start to tune out because Ive heard it about a million times before. GloriousPeanut: Ok, before you continue: do you have anything in writing from him? ASa8657416: and then I'll catch somthing like "I want gay sex mutant caberay bloodbath GODAMNIT!" and Im like whoa man! ASa8657416: as in script? ASa8657416: hell no. GloriousPeanut: No GloriousPeanut: I mean contract-wise ASa8657416: What? Im not getting paid for this shit. We barley have enough money to pay the "talent" after getting 45 grand scraped together for equipment ect. GloriousPeanut: But where exactly is all the money going? What's your shooting schedule? Etc. ASa8657416: Money is going toward the equipment for making all the movies from here on out. Ive looked over the books. As for shooting schedule fuck all if I know. ASa8657416: Thank god I dont have any capital invested in this shit. ASa8657416: this. this is our money maker. ASa8657416: http://glampira.tripod.com/pinup1.html ASa8657416: THE ginger thompson. ASa8657416: aka Glampira GloriousPeanut: ... yeah buddy. ASa8657416: oh man the women luke. ASa8657416: I dont know where fred found them but if we can just get 90 minutes of footage on this shit were gonna be truck stop superstars. GloriousPeanut: Plenty of Talent & Assets? ASa8657416: hell yes. ASa8657416: remeber ashley smith? GloriousPeanut: ... drawing a blank. ASa8657416: well its worthless if you cant get a visual. GloriousPeanut: OK dude got to get to sleep ASa8657416: k ASa8657416: dont die GloriousPeanut: Oh don't worry, I'm just getting started GloriousPeanut: GUY: "Who are you?" ARNOLD: "I'm the pahty pooper!" *shotgun to vodka glass* - Kindergarten Cop ASa8657416: haha ASa8657416: twins was better GloriousPeanut signed off at 10:58 PM

	2006.07.19  03.31 The Big Hayden: mate ASa8657416: yo ASa8657416: you back in houston? The Big Hayden: What's crackerlacking? What's shakin, bakin? The Big Hayden: What's poppin, lockin? The Big Hayden: Yeah, I'm home ASa8657416: cool. I just got back from Louisiani-ha The Big Hayden: Nice The Big Hayden: You know what we should do in the next few days? ASa8657416: Journey concert? The Big Hayden: I was thinking more along the lines of hittng up that little bar you know. ASa8657416: yes. The Big Hayden: You know, John. The power animal? ASa8657416: John is awsome. ASa8657416: I dont know if there open durring the summer though. The Big Hayden: Well shit. ASa8657416: and they have a very uneven carding policy that pisses me off. ASa8657416: these are recent developments The Big Hayden: Damn. You a regular there? ASa8657416: ish. During the school year ASa8657416: I havent been in about 2 months The Big Hayden: Would John recognize you? Maybe not know your name, but know he'd seen you there a few times before? ASa8657416: mabye. why? The Big Hayden: Because if he knows you as a reg and doesn't card you, he is less likely to card a mate you bring with. It's simple bar crash statistics. ASa8657416: yes. but he doesnt realy. And john is rarley acting bartender. The only solution is to get redbeard (who looks 30) as insurance. They only card you if you look young, and its realy halfassed at best. Damn cops busted up the place a month after i found it so there jumpy, but drunk so not realy. ASa8657416: but yea. stinko on 10 bucks sounds nice. The Big Hayden: Ah. well, do you have my cell phone number? ASa8657416: 281 291 9832? The Big Hayden: That's home. Let me give you my cell. The Big Hayden: 281 253 1439 ASa8657416: got it. when do you want to go? there closed saturdays and I might have to work friday. The Big Hayden: Well, what I was going to suggest was that you call me when you think it is a good time to go. ASa8657416: not much to do? The Big Hayden: You shitting? All I do is try with all my might to hear the television while my girlfriend does her best to drive me to insanity with her nonstop babble ASa8657416: haha. thats the best. you want a job? It doesnt pay nothing but might get you out of the house. The Big Hayden: What is it? ASa8657416: Making cheap, sleazy explotation films for this cheap, sleazy production company I hooked up with. ASa8657416: Casinova Island Productions. The Big Hayden: Uh, cool, I guess. Does sleazy exploitation mean porn or gratuitous nudity? Because that's what Casanova sounds like ASa8657416: Not gratuidous. Think those 5 dollar "Zombie Rednecks" movies you see in truckstops. The Big Hayden: Ah. The Big Hayden: Uh, I dunno. Maybe The Big Hayden: I'll think about it. ASa8657416: except instead of Rednecks its Bikini The Big Hayden: AH. ASa8657416: Bikini Vampires, Bikini Boatbabes, it goes on like that The Big Hayden: wow. ASa8657416: yea. So you still live at home or in an apartment or what? The Big Hayden: Home. The Big Hayden: You? ASa8657416: Home for now. I got fucked in a house deal. The Big Hayden: Fucked in a house deal? What happened? ASa8657416: Aaron bitched out. Its a long story but thats how it ends. I hate that guy. The Big Hayden: Well mate, I've got some time. If you'd like to relate the whole deal, I've no problems hearing it ASa8657416: Ah shit Ive done it so many times... Lets see If I can condense this... The Big Hayden: OK The Big Hayden: Ok*...Damned drunk fingers ASa8657416: Aaron finds awsome house in the montrose richmand area, 3 bedroom, 2 1/2 bath 1600 a month with utilites. Sweet, sweet deal right? Nice area, 5 minutes from school, walking distance to ANYTHING you could possibly want. It was perfect. The Big Hayden: Indeed it was. ASa8657416: So we begin (I begin) the long process of getting a dream feasible. The Big Hayden: True. 1600 a month is good, but hard to come by for two college students if you also want to eat ASa8657416: This involves finding roomates, 6 people, this takes the rent to 300 nothing a month even with food. ASa8657416: I can make that much selling blood, infact I have ASa8657416: paperwork, mounds of paperwork ASa8657416: and of course convincing the parents The Big Hayden: Wow, I gotta stop donating this shit and start selling it The Big Hayden: of course ASa8657416: hell yes. Thats a story for later though. ASa8657416: we get all this done, it takes about a month. The roomates are, me, aaron, aarons suitemate shaun, Josh, Marco, and some guy named michal. The Big Hayden: I see you have the required Latino ASa8657416: now. Josh is what you would call "tweaked" at all times, but by far the most reliable and proffessional of anyone of us. Hes going to be one of those guys who has "Destroy your finacial enemies with Joshenomices!" Seminars. "Eyes on the Prize Motherfucka!" ASa8657416: so josh is there with me at the bank when I open the account, paying the security deposit in cash right there. ASa8657416: AARON ON THE OTHER HAND.... ASa8657416: has been giving very mixed signals. I was afraid of him flaking out at the last minute (as hes wont to do) but he assured me he was onboard. Josh however, wants a saftey net, so he sends an email to sean, and it says that hes concerned about aarons flakyness, and that we should start looking for a backup roomate. ASa8657416: Sean sends this email to aaron (at the time being a weakwilled little bastard). Aaron promptley calls me AN HOUR BEFORE I SIGN THE LEASE and says hes out. At this time I had no idea about the email and I am understandibly a bit... miffed. ASa8657416: SO I find out about what the fuck is going on, put on my best shiteating grin and try to do some damnage control. Unfortunatly Aaron has already cried to his mom (as he is wont to do) and even though I was able to eventualy get him to change his mind, his mom wouldnt, and she controls all the damn money so Aaron was out. Fuck Aaron. The Big Hayden: Goddamn. That fucking sucks man. The Big Hayden: If you'd like, I've a lame joke to change the topic ASa8657416: UNFORTUNATLY this created a domino effect. Sean bitched out at the first sign of trouble, so Im down two people I got the landlord calling me yadda yadda fucking sucks ASa8657416: joke it up The Big Hayden: So this grasshopper walks into a bar, right? The Big Hayden: Says "Hey man, gimme a drink", doens't say what he wants. The Big Hayden: Bartender goes "Hey, far out man! We got a drink here named after you! Hows that sound!" The Big Hayden: Grasshopper goes "No shit? You're the first bartender I ever met knew how to make an acid flashback!" ASa8657416: haha The Big Hayden: Badudis ASa8657416: That was unexpected. I like where you went. The Big Hayden: badum-dish* The Big Hayden: Thank you. ASa8657416: Well if you want to kill some time theres this guy thats created this awsome freeflowing space universe staring Ving Rhames in GBS. The Big Hayden: Do what? ASa8657416: http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=1946842&perpage=40&pagenumber=11 ASa8657416: its preety much up there with the goonbase The Big Hayden: Oh yeah, that

	2006.07.16  03.39 ASa8657416: Ive been getting back into warhammer. Paul Luvs Cars: really ASa8657416: yea 40k ASa8657416: I couldnt get my camera to work so I scanned an ork Paul Luvs Cars: nice ASa8657416: I know Right? Total McGuyver move ASa8657416: http://upload.enetation.co.uk/uploads/33843a9da4.jpg Paul Luvs Cars: comendable Paul Luvs Cars: and well painted to-boot ASa8657416: Damn right. Im not gonna drop 10 bucks on a metal figurine just to mess it up. ASa8657416: which brings me to my next question. ASa8657416: What is the nature of love? Paul Luvs Cars: I could tell you: love is a many splendid thing Paul Luvs Cars: but truely, what is love? what is that buring desire in man for something to be wholey devoted to? Paul Luvs Cars: i'd go on and elaborate eloquently but im busy ASa8657416: Perhaps man is mearly reaching out for an unfullfillable goal in order to maintain constant motivation in life? Paul Luvs Cars: indeed, for what is man without something to strive for, to achieve all is not victory but defeat, to have nothing left to reach for is not contentment but restless damnation ASa8657416: Of course this is a wholly pessimistic theory, completley dissmissing the notion of true love. Paul Luvs Cars: there is no true love, there is simply finding the most compatible person you've had the pleasure of meeting, and then remaining devoted to them unconditionally ASa8657416: Sounds... emotionaly suffocating. Paul Luvs Cars: well to both parties involved they don't see it that way, unles one is a rational realist who can view his own circumstances with unbiased eyes Paul Luvs Cars: to them it's wonderful true love ASa8657416: what a lonley life you must lead. Paul Luvs Cars: not so much, because A) I can denile myself into the nice dillusion, and B) I did truely love once, and then I was happy Paul Luvs Cars: like mygirlfriend now, she's great really, i enjoy talking to her, and she's gorgeous, so I mean I'm not lonely, I'm just also not kidding myself ASa8657416: Well then this existential conversation didnt do you any good did it? Paul Luvs Cars: well it's always good to stretch one's mental muscles on philosophic thought, regardless of any gain ASa8657416: Good attitude. ASa8657416: So what are you working on at 3 in the morning? Paul Luvs Cars: god only knows why I stay up anymore, it's like an inner drive without goal or purpose, I am pressed to find more things to occupy myself with lest I should have to go to bed ASa8657416: I agree. Its the internet paul. ASa8657416: The internet is a void, sucking in all that gaze opon it. Paul Luvs Cars: damn the internet, damn it to hell, we've opened a gateway to the maismatic plains of the damned, just as surely as it connects us all to infinite knowledge, communication and amusement, it also taxes our very souls, obsorbing us bit by bit, our humanity wanning ASa8657416: Total. Information. Overload. The more informed we are the less we know. ASa8657416: I waded through 10 pages of furry porn before I found that gem of a pamphlet. Was it worth it? Mabye. Paul Luvs Cars: consider this, Louis and Clark waded through all kinds of bullshit, harsh winters, still water, dragging boats over mountains, and all for what? to see the pacific and so we'd have a vague approximation of a map to go off of as we expanded west, but you know damn well they think it was worth it ASa8657416: So were like Luis and Clark, but on a much more petty, porn-filled level? Paul Luvs Cars: yes Paul Luvs Cars: that pamphlet is our map my friend Paul Luvs Cars: now we must expand westward Paul Luvs Cars: and by expand westward I of course mean begin a new peacefull naked utopia ASa8657416: naturaly. On that note I go to sleep. Think the deep things paul. Paul Luvs Cars: i shall Paul Luvs Cars: you sleep well